Adventuring With God Through Trials
One of those details is the love of Scripture that God instilled in me from an early age. Probably a grandfather who quoted Bible verses for every situation influenced my desire to memorize more and more portions. Of course, that old adage “use it or lose it” applies, which is why most of us forget references or don’t recall those passages word for word. Yet, I find reciting a memorized passage helps me go to sleep at night, especially if my mind is still too busy with other things.
The added blessing of memorizing Scripture is that it is available when you need it. There are times when I don’t recall where my verses are found, although I usually remember what book it is in or the general location. For this post, I have looked up all references so I can share them with you.
My story starts in July when I read a book we will be studying in our ABF at church (I’m one of the rotating teachers), a book that prepared me for what might lie ahead. Now, don’t jump to conclusions as I give you the name of this book: One Minute After You Die, by Erwin W, Lutzer. The book left me with a sense of adventure as I journey toward that moment when my life is over, whether it be in 20 years or six months. I could honestly say with Paul,
For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.
If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me.
Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell.
I am hard pressed between the two.
My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better.
But to remain in the flesh is more necessary...
Philippians 1:21-24
On July 29, I first noticed blood in my urine, which steadily increased over the next week and then stopped suddenly. My primary physician sent me to a urologist, which led to CAT scans and a cystoscopy. Meanwhile, I experienced another week of bloody urine the end of August.
Now the cystoscopy scared me to death. I mean, it really petrified me, although it turned out to be more inconvenience than anything else. But my nerves and emotions were high as I entered the examining room. I was convinced, no matter what I had been told, that it would be horrifically painful when the doctor ran that little camera up my urethra and into my bladder. The nurse told me to take some deep breaths and relax or the test would be more uncomfortable than necessary.
So I took some deep breaths—breaths of Scripture, that is. Now picture this with me: I’m laying on the examination table, feet in stirrups and half naked but well-draped to protect my sense of modesty. No Bible in my hand, no ability to thumb through it looking for highlighted passages, no smart phone with a Bible app at my fingertips. How would I be able to take comfort in Scripture? Obviously through those verses I have committed to memory over the years.
They were verses like Psalm 113:5,6: “Who is like the Lord our God, the One who sits enthroned on high, who stoops down to look on the heavens and the earth?” I then turned it into a prayer: “I am so amazed that You, Almighty God, stoop down to look on little me. I am so thankful that “[Your] steadfast love endures forever” (and that’s another verse found in Psalm 118 and other places).
As I thought of one of my favorite verses in Isaiah 40, verse 11—“He tends his flock like a shepherd; He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart”—I pictured myself snuggled in His arms, cared for and carried through this trial. And I thought, “Thy rod and Thy staff, they comfort me” (Psalm 23:4b).
Then there was the 18th verse in Romans 8, that beloved chapter that inserts itself into so many things in life and conversation: “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us”. I thought about the future glory of heaven, but I also thought about the fact that I am here on earth to bring glory to my Lord and Savior. So I prayed that no matter what the test results might be, I would be able to reveal His glory in ever so limited a way to others around me, to those whom I might meet along the way.
I recalled Isaiah 43:2-3, although I had to look up the reference later, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God.” And I told God, “I am so thankful, Lord that You are my God, that You are with me through this test, through whatever I might yet have to face.”
Finally, back to Romans 8: “For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.” Aah. Life and peace. I just let that wash over me.
And when the doctor walked in and started the exam, I was totally relaxed. Now I have to tell you that a little research had me convinced I have cancer. That’s the usual reason for blood in the urine. So I was prepared when the doctor to said, “There’s a tumor, see it?” [I could look at a screen to see what he was seeing.] But I was not prepared to hear him say, “And there’s another one… and another one… multiple tumors.” But I was so relaxed, so prepared by the presence of God that I merely checked it off mentally with a feeling of surprise.
His conclusion was that we caught this in very early stages. What he couldn’t get in surgery, medicine would take care of. I am now scheduled for that surgery on Thursday, the day after tomorrow. I am thankful it will be done the same way—through the uretha with no incisions. I dread coming home with a catheter, although if all goes well, I’ll have that for just three or four days. The risk is a cut in the bladder which would necessitate a longer period of time with the catheter, up to four weeks.
The pre-op is over and another piece of good news showed up on “My Chart”: urinalysis revealed no malignant cancer cells.
From the very beginning, I have prayed that God would use this situation to bring glory to Himself. What a joy and blessing to be able to share with others about my great God! A God who gives incredible peace and joy beyond comprehension no matter what my circumstances. All because He reveals Himself in Scripture and deems to have an intimate relationship with me!
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