Hosea and Marriage

I'm not sure why I chose to study Hosea next, but I'm finding it more of a blessing this time through than ever before.

My first thought as I began the book was, "Can you imagine living through life with the names Hosea gave his children?" At the same time, those names may have presented many opportunities to teach about God's love as well as God's justice. And when "No More Mercy" was asked why her father would give her such a name, she could explain that it represented Israel's consequences for not remaining loyal to their God, that one day God would say "I will have mercy on No Mercy, and I will say to Not My People, 'You are my people'; and he shall say, 'You are my God.'"

But what spoke to me even more were the verses concerning God's relationship with His chosen people, Israel.

And I will betroth you to me forever.
I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice,
in steadfast love and in mercy.
I will betroth you to me in faithfulness.
And you shall know the Lord.
Hosea 2:19-21

Now, those are the characteristics we should each bring to our marriage:

First, forever. No quitting. Total commitment, for better or for worse, as the traditional marriage vows say. And "forever" is possible because of the other characteristics.

In righteousness. I can only do my part if I maintain a right relationship with God, if I confess my wrongs to God and admit them to my husband, whether he does likewise or not. I am responsible before God for the way I live, for the way I react—not for his righteousness or reactions.

In justice. I can't help but think of Matthew 7:1-5 as I consider justice in marriage. Do I judge my husband for his behavior? If so, I can expect to be judged in the same way, I can expect him to react the same way I react. Verse 3: Why do you see the speck that is in your [spouse's] eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Ouch!

In steadfast love. Steadfast. The American Heritage Dictionary defines steadfast as fixed or unchanging; steady; firmly loyal or constant; unswerving. Let's not equate love with emotion, with that fluttery, giddy feeling we had during courtship. Love is an action. It would behoove us to review 1 Corinthians 13:4-6a and analyze our behavior toward our spouse through God's eyes. Love is an action. When we no longer feel love, we need to act in love. I once heard it put this way: If biblical principles are the engine pulling our train, emotions will be the caboose; in other words, feelings will follow our behavior. 

In mercy. There are times when we may feel our spouse does not deserve mercy. But think of the many times God has extended mercy to us! If death or rejection were to follow every sin we commit, every wrong thought we think, we would be dead a thousand times over! Mercy includes forgiveness, even when our spouse refuses to ask for it but behaves as though he expects it. Ephesians 4:32 tells us to be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. What right have I to withhold forgiveness from my husband when God has forgiven me at great cost to our Lord Jesus Christ?

In faithfulness. This is more than loving steadfastly. This is remaining so faithful that we do not even complain about our spouse to others, that we defend him if we hear another person criticize him. We remain faithful in our thoughts and conversation. Have you ever noticed how much bigger an issue becomes the more we think about it? Squelch those thoughts! Discuss problems when you can, openly and lovingly. Granted, there are some personalities that refuse to work through situations. That is their problem, not ours. Mercy accepts that and moves on in love.

And you shall know the Lord. If we can imitate God in all the above aspects of our marital relationship, our walk with God will be uninhibited. Mark 11:25 says, And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. I certainly don't want anything to come between my Heavenly Father and me! So why let anything come between my husband and me? 

One final verse: 

Beloved, let us love one another,

for love is from God,

and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.

Anyone who does not love

does not know God,

because God is love.

1 John 4:7,8