Parental Influence
Even their attitudes toward faith were different, but compatible. Mom simply believed, without question; if it was biblical, it was true. Dad, however, taught me to question all I wanted to as long as I never questioned the veracity of Scripture. The Bible is the Word of God and, therefore is God's truth. But there are times when we don't fully understand how its teachings work together. Thus he encouraged me to study and understand and become "a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth" (2 Timothy 2:15, ESV).
As I reflect on my growing-up years, I realize how much they taught me about the fear of God. I know we often battle with the idea of fear of God while loving Him, while knowing of his never-ending love for us.
"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.
For fear has to do with punishment
and whoever fears has not been perfected in love."
1 John 4:18
Sometimes I find it difficult to put that verse in perspective because elsewhere we are encouraged to fear God. But that fear has to do with relationship. It is the same fear I learned as a child for my parents.
I always adored my parents and had a very close relationship with them. Both with the Lord in Glory now, but they are still with me in my heart, in my life's choices and direction. Granted, the fear element entered in with my father more than my mother because she was such a gentle person. My respect for them included a sense of awe, especially as a young child. I always wanted to please them and I feared punishment if I misbehaved. But I also knew that any punishment administered did not negate their love for me. In fact, I recall my father, the usual disciplinarian, coming to me after punishment had caused me to flee to my room in tears. He always apologized. Sometimes he apologized because he had been too hard on me. Other times, he apologized for the need for punishment, explaining that it was part of training me to become a responsible adult. I never doubted his love for me—at least not for long!
The truth is, both fear and love were involved in my desire to please my parents. I think I often feared disappointing them almost as much as a spanking I might receive for disobedience. And that carried over into adulthood.
By then, however, I was transferring my need to please my parents to a need to please God. They had set such godly examples, that the transferal was easy.
Just as Mom and Dad had expectations for me, so does my God.
As obedient children,
do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance,
but as he who called you is holy,
you also be holy in all your conduct...
1 Peter 1:14, 15
But I also know that God loves me and longs for what is best for me. That means there will be discipline, testing and trials in order to train me, to conform me to the image of his Son (Romans 8:29). And discipline means training, not necessarily punishment.
Obviously, God is so much more than my parents. Recognition of God's holiness, power, sovereignty and justice fill me with awe, especially when I consider the amazing grace He extended toward me. I want to please God as I have always longed to please my parents.
I have no fear of punishment, especially eternal punishment, eternal damnation. God sent His Son to take that punishment for me, to meet the requirements of justice in the eyes of a perfect, holy God. I know God's love is perfect and so I have no need to fear Him in a cowering manner. But I do fear disappointing Him, I fear failing to bring glory and honor to His name. Admittedly, I fail and will continue to fail, but there is no cowering before Him because He loves me more than I can possibly love Him back, more than I can ever comprehend.
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